Tuesday Tip

written by ~MAW Steve

I am not a crier.  Nope, I just don't do it.  I don't cry during the sad parts of movies.  I don't cry when I attend weddings or funerals. I didn't even cry when I got punched in the face so hard I could barely breathe.  I don't know why  Idon't cry, but I don't.  And I am ok with that.

Of course, there is one time that I cry.  That's whenever I cut onions. That sweet, yet spicy vegetable can get the tears flowing faster than "The Notebook" can turn my wife into a pile of goo.  And red onions are the worst.  For some reason, they just make me start bawling.  It happened just the other day when I had a rerun of Saved By the Bell on tv.  I was blubbering like a baby, right as Zach, Screech and the gang got their diplomas.  Sure a tearjerker moment, but for me it was all about the onions.

There are several theories on how to stop yourself from crying while cutting onions.  You can wash your hands and face really well.  You can eat a piece of lemon.  You can wear a mask.  I am here to tell you that none of those has worked for me.  Only one thing has stopped the tears from flowing.  Goggles.

That's right, Goggles.  I prefer the type swimmers wear when in the pool, but there are several other kinds you can use.  The idea is that a suction around your eyes protects them from the mist, or wisp or whatever it is that an onion gives off that makes you cry.  It works.  And since they are perfectly see through, they allow you to complete the chore without those nasty blind cuts to the fingers.

So the next time you are at the grocery store and pick up an onion, make sure you stop and get some goggles as well.  It just might stop your tears from being wasted so you will have them the next time Titanic comes on.